Elaine Hanzak's Blog: Clive Gott's Golf Day and Leeds Rhinos go to Wembley!

I slept very well on Saturday night - it's now 24 weeks since Clive Gott left us. In some ways that seems like a long time, yet in others, no time at all.

I was still in an 'organising' frame of mind so decided to do the two minute job of installing the Blackberry software on my PC so I could sort the photos from there too! Two hours later it was done. Why do the supposed simple tasks take so long?

I was being collected at 1 p.m to go to Doncaster stadium to watch Leeds Rhinos play Castleford Tigers in the Carnegie Challenge cup semi-final, by our friends Pete, Mandy and her children Emma and Sam. We sit together at the corporate hospitality at Leeds, and they have become friends as well as business support.

As I put on my Rhinos shirt I felt a tug at the heart strings as I remembered our trip to Wembley last year.

I had never been before and Clive was so excited to share it with me. On Sunday as I put on the same T-shirt I sighed. I also found a waterproof jacket which he used to wear. I felt he was wrapped around me. As Pete drove us to Doncaster I felt excited. We had a pie and pint - my Mum will roll her eyes at me!

The game wasn't all that thrilling. Castleford were doing a great job of defence. Even by half time there were only 2 points on the board. The second half Castleford scored and the chance of us going to Wembley was fading ..

Then minutes before full time we equalised and had to go into extra time. First to get a point won. I posted on Facebook that we needed Clive to give them a hand. Within seconds we had a penalty kick ... Kevin lined up the shot ..

And with one kick we are off to Wembley! The last 10 minutes of the game I was amazed at how excited I was and tense! Mandy was amused at me! I remember seeing Clive in that state. The Leeds fans went wild. The Castleford ones were gutted. Their team had played very well.

My initial joy crashed when the fans sang 'We are Leeds Rhinos' - I burst into tears at how happy Clive would have been. He'd have the tickets sorted by now, the coach, everything. He would be counting the 'sleeps'. I soon dried my eyes as I didn't want the children upset so the smiles came back.

We came home and I made some tea for us all. It was a perfect end to a very enjoyable afternoon. However, as the evening wore on I began to feel deflated. There is no Clive to go to Wembley with. Dom may go with me but isn't sure. Otherwise I am stuck. The people who would like to probably can't for various reasons. I am not sure what to do except I feel I should go for both of us. So many times he would talk to the younger players at the club and inspire them to achieve one of their goals to play at Wembley. If I don't go I feel I am letting them down too. I never appreciated the pleasure of spectating at sport before I met Clive. I don't want my fun to die with him. Anyone free on Saturday 27th August?

I cried washing up when Pete, Mandy and the children left. I am sure that the tears will dry up one day. Tonight I feel they were for Clive missing out. Or did he indeed, 'give them a hand'?

I am looking forward to Wednesday this week as his golf friends have organised a tournament in his memory and to raise funds for his Foundation which will help youngsters in sport.

Clive Gott Foundation Golf Day

Wed Aug 10 2011 at 10:00 am

Venue : Kirbymoorside Golf Club (between Thirsk and Scarborough in the North Yorkshire Moors).
Created By : Dave Sear
Description:
This is to be an annual event to remember and celebrate the life of "Our Clive" and to raise money for The Clive Gott Foundation.
Teams of 4 - Texas Scramble Style
£100 per team to include bacon sandwich and coffee on arrival.
Prizes for individuals and teams

For those who wish to attend but don't play - come along anyway as we can have a chat, get together and remember Clive.

Please email me at elaine@hanzak.com if you need more details.

One of my friends has this on her kitchen wall:-

There were many rugby fans today who held their breath!

But one thing is for sure - Clive and I had many, many moments together where our reaction to each other or with each other, did make us breathless. I know I was so lucky to find that magic that not everyone does. For that I remain grateful, but just have to find my way on this new journey.

Good luck Rhinos on your journey to Wembley! Clive would be so proud and pleased for you all.

Elaine x