Monday, 1 August 2011

A day without the car

I slept well at the cottage we were loaned at Flamborough. On Wednesday we had a full day there with no agenda - bliss!

Dom and his cousin Brendan did not stir until mid morning and I also stayed snuggled in bed. Someone suggested I put the pillow in the middle of a double bed - that way there isn't an empty space to imagine Clive in. A simple idea but it helps!

We had enough food for the day and I requested that we didn't use the car. The morning passed with me actually reading magazines (what?!) and the boys using IT to communicate with the outside world!

I reflected on a few things. Why in fashion ideas in the magazines do they put together an ensemble with total incongruity, e.g. Dress £650 (designer label), shrug £350 (designer label), wedge shoes £12 (Matalan), bangles £1 (Primark)?!!

Is it me that is odd or if you had a thousand pounds to spend on the clothes would you honestly be happy to team it with jewellery for a £1? I am not knocking the reasonable end of the high street at all - I just question how they match these things up! I honestly can say too that even if I could afford clothes for that price, there are other things I would rather spend money on!

Secondly 'when I was a lass' we said our goodbyes to classmates at the end of the summer term and apart from a few close friends, we wouldn't be in touch with the rest until we returned with new pencil cases in September. These days teenagers seem to have withdrawal symptoms if not using Social Media for 10 minutes!

I have been reminding Dom and Brendan that they should appreciate one another whilst they are physically together! Next week they'll be Facebooking each other whilst they are with someone else! It was a wake-up for me too as I am prone to being glued to my Blackberry when I am with others. I thought that Clive was my addiction but it continues ... it does seem very rude and gives the impression that other people are more interesting or important that you are! I am sorry if I have ever made you feel that way!

I made us lunch and we headed off on bikes to North Landing. It was warm enough for a sleeveless T-shirt and shorts. Honestly Sue Peckham!

As I cycled into the warm breeze I smiled as I remembered how good I feel when I cycle. I really should do it more. I also smiled at how Clive had been the one who finally taught me the principles of bike gears so I could remember them and to pedal standing up! As I did so riding to the beach I giggled as I thought of how he liked to cycle behind me - what is it about men's fascination with bottoms?!

The beach was busy that day with an assortment of families pleased to have the sunshine.

There was the family of four with a teenage son and daughter laid on towels delighted at the prospect of sun! Dad and lad just wore shorts, the females, very little.  As the afternoon wore on 'Mum' turned a brighter shade of red.

In contrast a couple with a baby chose their spot just in front of me. They stayed fully clothed complete with hats, long trousers, long sleeved tops, shoes and a fur lined, zip up top! Their baby, who could sit up, was suitably attired! They spread out a rug and stayed for a couple of hours. The only time that baby had any exposure was for a nappy change!

The joys of people watching!

Meanwhile I read my magazine and the boys amused themselves by getting as many clothes and items of footwear as wet as they could!

I felt mellow and no urge to do anything. I am allowing myself time 'just to be'.

We went back on the bikes and I happily made the boys some bolognaise. After eating they went out again. I am concerned if they are out without me but they are 15 and 16. I used to play out as a primary school age child! I guess it's part of being a parent - the love and concern is always there, at any age (ey, Mum and Dad?!).

Dom got changed before they went out and I burst into tears! He was wearing the Hard Rock cafe T-shirt that Clive had bought him in New York. I had never seen him wear it before. It made my day! Although we had been patient with Dom about Clive being a huge part of my life, and it was an understandably rocky process, we had finally got there. Seeing signs of acceptance like this are very special for me. Dom hugged me again.

'Mr Bean's Holiday' completed the day!

My learning points that day were

1. I neither envy or aspire to clothes costing hundreds of pounds!
2. Teenagers are addicted to Social Media!
3. What one family consider a heatwave, another doesn't!
4. That I can relax.
5. That being patient can have the positive outcome you want.

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