Thursday, 7 July 2011

Coming home without Clive Gott

The last few hours by the pool passed quickly and the shuttle bus arrived to take us to the airport. There were only two places left and of all the hotels in the area the bus picked up the last passengers from the one that Clive and friends had stayed in two years ago!

I remembered our swim there and how he had patted my face dry with a towel as I got out of the pool. I revelled in his affectionate touches like that.

At the airport I felt tearful. For some reason I sensed I was leaving him behind - as Ellie was with Nip. On the other hand I was pleased with how I had managed with it all. Mum got her plane back to Liverpool and Ellie and I to Leeds/Bradford. As I hugged Nip I asked him to bring the trophy they played for each year back with his name on. Clive won it last year. 

The flight was fine. I remembered two years ago as I did this journey I had spent it writing to Clive. I found it in his 'keepsakes'. I have commented on everything we had done, telling him what had made me feel so special. Do you tell your loved one that? How can we expect others to do things we like if we don't actually tell them! Likewise with the things that bug us?

I ended that letter by saying,
'You said that you had got to know me more on this trip. I guess if I was to say the same I feel the following qualities were magnified:- generosity, kindness, the knack of making me feel so special, patient, fun, thoughtful and generally someone who I want to spend more time with. A lifetime doesn't seem long enough'.

I know this is sad but I do take some comfort in knowing that I DID tell Clive how much I loved him. No regrets. He died knowing it.

Go on - tell someone NOW just what they mean to you. 

Once back at the airport I drove us home but my car had a red warning light on the dashboard. Oh no! Another garage trip needed.

I stayed with Ellie and on Monday morning got home. The lawns need cutting but no time! I had some 'must do' tasks to do but didn't have chance even to unpack. My bedroom was trashed! Most unlike me!

Next I was off to the Midland hotel in Bradford for networking and talk for 'Bradfordnowhere'. Clive had spoken here. I felt a bit sad without him but familiar faces there were sympathetic and supportive. It was good to speak to Peg Alexander whom I had met at a PSA event. Also Lenny Phillip who declared he had heard me speak in a bedroom! About 2 years ago Clive and I delivered a joint workshop in a hotel in Leeds - they had used a large bedroom for it!

I had suspected that Monday evening was a possible 'dip' night so I had arranged to see a friend in Otley. It was very late (or early) when I got home! I threw stuff off the bed and went out like a light!

Tuesday morning I got the bus into Leeds where I had a meeting at ICE innovation to discuss my web presence and how it can be improved. Action will follow!

Next was lunch at the revamped Cosmopolitan hotel (where the afore mentioned bedroom seminar had been). I met up with Gary Peacock, manager from the Midland hotel in Bradford (a school mate of mine from 6th form at Helsby, Cheshire) and John Hotowka. We are holding a networking and 'showcase' event especially for me, probably on November 7th. To be confirmed.

Next stop was to see my accountant, Roy Lancaster, at Virtual FD. Wow! I only took my accounts into them in last week. Excellent and very fast service.

Pete Evans was there too and he chased me up on my 'business' progress!

I got the bus home and first job was to unpack! Look at the state of my bedroom!

I knew I was tired but had lots to sort out. I gave myself a cut off at 8 pm but was still faffing at 10 pm! Clive would have been cross with me. No prizes for guessing that I couldn't sleep!

By 5.30 am I was up and at 7 a.m on the train to London! My mission? A video and photo shoot for my Greatvine Expert role. I am going to be one of the recommended experts on postnatal depression to be featured regularly in Prima Mother and Baby magazine.

When Molly Harvey and I were together a few weeks ago we chatted about my new/updated brand. We thought of my colour to be yellow - to represent sunshine, light, wisdom! Last summer I had dithered getting a yellow dress I had spotted. By the time I used up all the excuses not to get it, it was out of stock! I was meant to have it as I had a look on-line and found a brand new one at a third of the original price!

I also had new matching underwear on! I had my make-up done by a young lady who did it for X-factor contestants in a proper make-up room with lights all round the mirrors. Cool!

All this lead to this image ...

More to follow - this one was just on my Blackberry. I am really pleased with it. I did feel a few tears prick as I thought of how Clive would have liked it.

Ann Girling was also there and we had some joint pictures taken for using with our workshops on postnatal depression. We had a meeting too with GreatvineThe Joanne Bingley Memorial Foundation and how we can promote each other. Exciting times ahead! It was good to meet Joycellyn Akuffo from Mothers who work.

My afternoon was spent with a friend. We had a leisurely meal at Giraffe on the Southbank of the Thames followed by coffee and a Danish pastry in Le Pain Quotidien. Various table tricks were played and 'loser' my forfeit was to kiss the Nelson Mandela statue! It was high and this was the best I could do!! Thank you for a very funny afternoon Mr H! x

Shows how I am just hanging on in there!

To pass the time before my train I sat in the impressive reception of the new hotel at St.Pancras and wrote all this up.

Phew! What a busy few days!

Perhaps the grass will get cut tomorrow?

So my theory of keeping busy and surrounded by friends 'post holiday' has worked. I recommend it.

I was exceedingly touched by this message yesterday :-

'I saw this and thought of you ....

“To the world, you may just be somebody. But to somebody, you may just be the world”

I think this may well sum up what a lot of the people you meet and inspire think of you from your talks. Maybe you should get someone to endorse your Linked in page accordingly?'

How beautiful and very much appreciated - thanks William! X

By the way, one question I asked my friend this afternoon was 'what fairground ride would you use to describe yourself and why?'

My answer was easy - a rollercoaster. What would yours be?

Fair to say that these few days have been 'ups'!

Fancy joining me in a quick dance around the room?

PS. When I arrived home early this morning I found my lawns had been cut by someone. Fab! Such a lovely surprise. What can you do for someone today?

Elaine x

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