Friday, 22 July 2011

Never give up

I have a calender in the kitchen with a photo of Clive for each month. Currently it is of us on a Nile cruise.

It is exactly at the same height to kiss as Clive's lips were. I have to stand on tip toe in the same way.
Feeling upset on Wednesday night I reached up, kissed his picture and asked him for help. Several times I had sobbed in previous hours. Every now and then I feel overwhelmed by all I have to face in life without him.
I got settled in bed with my notes for my branding appointment on Thursday morning. I had to consider my values amid other questions. I have a file of personal development programmes I have done in the last few years, including Clive's 'how to take life by the throat and say I'm not done yet'! He tested new workbooks on me.

I use my name as an acronym for signs and symptoms of depression and ways to combat it. Clive liked this idea and used it for his values - choice, life-long learning, integrity, vision and enthusiasm. We had done similar for me and I had made a start in a workbook - enthusiasm, life long learning, abundance, integrity ..

I then noticed Clive had written in for 'n' -
Never give up. I adore you. Xx

He admired my tenacity.

I won't let either of us down.

So there was his message to me! After a few tears and a cuddle of his pillow I did my notes and went to sleep smiling!

Elaine x

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