Hard bed and pillows but slept. Sleeping pills don't cross my mind now. Single bed is good as there is no physical empty space next to me.
Dom woke me with a hug and the words 'Happy Mothers Day Supermum'.
He made me a cup of tea. I got up and sat in the lounge of this luxurious timeshare and put Aled Jones on Radio 2 who was talking to Ann Widecombe.
Wham! The huge, gaping hole opened up. I thought I was all crIed out. Obviously not. I don't want to spoil today. Maybe if I get this out now it will be best.
Ann spoke of the afterlife and how she believes she will see her parents and cats again. Part of me feels Clive is still with me. He always will be. He often said he would be. That everyday I would see and remember him around me. But why so soon? Why isn't he physically here NOW? It's just not fair.
Listening to Ann reminded me of watching 'Strictly Come Dancing' last autumn. We had such fun watching that and 'X-factor'. The romance and energy shown in the dancing was similar to the passion we felt for each other.
I have to buck up now!! Dom is going later this afternoon but he is here NOW so for goodness sake Elaine enjoy it!
My Mum, Dad, sister, brother-in-law and baby niece are due in a few hours. Yes my Clive isn't here BUT I am surrounded by such love with my family. I should and will focus on that.
My heart goes out to those without their mothers today. If they have died I feel your pain at that hole. If they are apart from you for other reasons my heart goes out to you too, especially those supported by the charity MATCH.
If you are apart because of a falling out I ask you to consider getting in touch while you can. Clive and his father had a period of not speaking. He was so glad he sorted this - see his blog about Family.
So I shall dry my tears and focus on a Happy Mothering Sunday. I wish you the same, starting with Steve Wright's Sunday Love Songs!