Something inside so strong

I am going to bed tonight feeling stronger thn I have for a long while.

I have had various influences tonight in no particular order.

• A list is on my desk for tomorrow. THAT is a big step 'forward to basics', i.e. and how I used to plan and use my time before Clive died. It is a positive direction.
• I had an amazing email from someone who has seen Clive and I at a couple of events and just wanted me to know he was thinking of me. That was lovely in itself. I replied and he came back with his wish for me to 'fly high and fly free' as me in my own right and showing the world my gifts not just as Clive's partner. 
• A very pleasant evening spent at home with a local lady who had been speaking to Clive regularly in recent months and whom he was keen for me to meet. I now know why! Just chatting about each other was a tonic and invigorated my natural 'people' instinct. Whilst we were talking I had Magic FM radio on in the background. I heard this playing as we chatted ..

Maybe that is what I am feeling beginning to emerge now? Perhaps like a hesitant baby rabbit peeping out of the burrow for the first time.

• Then a message from someone very special to me - ' I want you to really try to and cheer up. You are too gorgeous and sexy to be beating yourself up so much. Clive would want you to continue up and forward'.

Tomorrow is the 1st of April. It was supposed to be a new start in Clive's career and a day he had been very excited about. 

I shall endeavour to begin it as he would have wanted - positive, determined, confident but most of all, happy.

N nite,

Elaine x